Funny+Quotes

Help! I'm being repressed! Peasant in //Monty Python//

When you're already being mauled by a bunch of bears in the forest, you don't shout out "Bring on more bears." Vincent Bugliosi, //And The Sea Will Tell//, p. 317

We are all brothers under the skin - and I, for one, would be willing to skin humanity to prove it. Said by Ellsworth Toohey, Ayn Rand, //The Fountainhead//, p. 305

The statistics on sanity are that one in every four Americans suffers from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. Rita Mae Brown, mystery writer

Sometimes the only appropriate response to reality is to go insane. Philip K. Dick, science fiction author

Due to recent cutbacks, and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for any inconvenience. //Source Unknown//

Love //is// blind. Lust, on the other hand, wears dark glasses and carries a cane so you'll feel sorry for it. E. B.

I walked into a door...again.- Isaac Burns

If I said "sex", to my boss, he would fire me.- Isaac Burns

After all, I enjoyed being the wiseass who stuck it to the man. -Isaac Burns

My pants look comfy and cozy, and are rolled up at the ankle to take into account my diminuitive stature. - Madeleine Black

Arguments in the 21st century are like dogs fighting. -Caroline Lemley

Just tonight my sister and I could not get over the fact that out almost 60-year old dad was wearing a dropkick murphys sweatshirt. -Anna Grillo

No woman will ever satisfy me. I know that now, and I would never try to deny it. But this is actually okay, because I will never satisfy a women, either. -Chuck Klosterman, //Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs//

Within three years of its initial release, classifying any intense friendship as "totally a //Harry-Met-Sally// situation" had a recognizable meaning to everyone, regardless of whether or not they'd actually seen the movie. -Chuck Klosterman, //Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs//

“Start each day out the holy way..with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH....and then a lil' angel flies out and says 'good morning, life is beautiful!'” -Dane Cook

[|Best of Steven Wright]

Some of the more funny fan pages on Facebook:
 * You're 12. You're not in love, I promise.
 * No, creepy 40-year-old foreign guy, you may NOT add me as a friend.
 * Thanks for liking my obviously negative status, smartass.
 * Seriously, how old is Spongebob? (my personal favorite)
 * Are you going to school tomorrow? No, I'm riding my unicorn to Alaska.